Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Crimes of Fashion

I'm sure this post's title will garner a few laughs, because those who know me also know that I flat-out rejected the Gap rage of the early '90's.

"Where does this guy get off talking about fashion?"

Wherever he darn well pleases.

I've said before that life in Japan never ceases to amaze and amuse. Usually, it happens at the same time.

The entire month of November has been one big jaw-dropping shock. Hokkaido cold is cold. Really cold. But that doesn't stop the ladies in the area from wearing miniskirts with boots.

Normally, I wouldn't even think of calling this a fashion crime. In fact, I would generally encourage it among the attractive female populace. However, when I feel cold just stepping outside, and then I see exposed leg, it goes from being kinda "sexy" to being "chicken skin".

Brrr. It's cold just to look at.

The colder it gets, the more it seems that women are going with the skirt/boot look. I'm starting to wonder if it's merely a Hokkaido thing. "Cold weather won't stop us from being fancy. We're used to this kind of weather." Fancy...you may be. Acclimated to arctic temperatures...you may be. But attractive...you are not. A frostbite liability? That's what you are.

Brrr. The other thing about that is that the cycle of the seasons calls for balance in all things, including fashion. As the weather grows colder, more layers are piled on and exposed skin becomes a rarity. As it warms up, the pattern reverses. You know it's spring when you see skirts start to make it out of the closet following a long winter. If you see skirts all year round, there's no joyous welcoming of spring that blossoms in the hearts of healthy young men everywhere. "Skirts again? Thank you God!"

I'm afraid I may lose some of that innocent joy.




(Excuse me...my stomach hurts from laughing too hard...be right back.)




All better now.

Of course, I doubt nothing can top the lady I saw at the post office today. Fluorescent lime green blouse, fuzzy scarf thingy, bleached tooth-white jeans, and a red cowboy hat.

Yee-haw, indeed.

But then again, I speak too soon. For if there is one single, solitary, immutable truth about life in Japan, it's this.

Just when you think you've seen it all, along comes something new to topple your foundations.

"Oh...My...GOD, Becky. Look...at her..."

5 Comments:

Blogger Megan said...

White jeans are an international crime of fashion. I am horrified the normally fashion-forward Japanese have chosen to perpetuate this. Are you OK? Do you need a hanky, a Valium, an inhaler?

But come on--the boots and skirts thing, that's sexy all year round, isn't it?

Thursday, December 01, 2005 7:00:00 AM  
Blogger Havok said...

Megan,

As I said, I am a big fan of the boots and skirts thing. There are places in Japan where people could pull it off year round. But when it's as cold as it is here, it just doesn't do it for me. Plus, there are a few lost souls up here who cover up exposed leg with grey...hmm, they're not stockings, and not quite leg warmers. My guess is that it's grey long-johns.

If you could send an emergency pack of Valium, I think it would help. If not me, I could give it to them.

Thursday, December 01, 2005 1:01:00 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

An emergency care package is on its way. Stay strong.

Friday, December 02, 2005 12:45:00 AM  
Blogger Smoooth said...

Fashion? Not when your 5' 10" 55oLBS . . . what is that in kilos?????

Saturday, December 03, 2005 9:53:00 AM  
Blogger Havok said...

Dave,

That would be about 250 kilos.

36-24-36?

huh huh

Only if she's 5'3"

Sunday, December 04, 2005 12:27:00 AM  

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