Thursday, February 09, 2006

Vin, Chuck, and Mr. T

These three sites are awesome, if a bit messed up at times.

The Random Vin Diesel Fact Generator
The Random Chuck Norris Fact Generator
The Random Mr. T Fact Generator

(Warning: contains some language that could be considered really offensive by my parents)

Some examples of the "facts" you can find on these sites:

If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
Vin Diesel invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear has nothing to fear but Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel killed the Dead Sea.
(Taken from the Top 100 Vin Diesel Facts Page)

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon.
(Taken from the Top 100 Chuck Norris Facts Page)

Mr. T
Few people know that "The A-Team" was completely true. The only thing the producers invented was that the A-Team had been in Vietnam. If Mr. T had actually been fighting for the US in Vietnam, Saigon would be the capital of America's fifty-first state right now.
Bob Dylan goes knock knock knocking on heaven's door. Mr. T punches through it like Kool-Aid Man.
Mr. T doesn't drive. He puts his car in neutral and the road starts running away from him.
(Taken from the Top 100 Mr. T Facts Page)

Just in case I never post on this blog again, it's probably because the three of them found me and pitied, roundhoused, and/or bludgeoned me out of existence.


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