Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Hell (Version: Pink)

A friend of mine from my Shimane days came into town last weekend with a friend of his.

It'd been a couple of years since we'd last hung out, so I was pretty excited for him to get up here.

He is a great guy, but has absolutely one of the filthiest mouths I've ever heard. Absolutely foul.

Anyway, we checked out the Ainu Museum in Shiraoi and drove through the Noboribetsu Hot Springs area on Saturday, and then swung by Rantaro for some yakitori goodness.

Sunday, I got up early to help out with STEP Test interviews at Pure Water Hill High, and then cruised back to get them up and head out again.

We headed over to Date for some ramen at Tsuru-tsuru-tei, checked out Showa Shinzan and Mt. Usu, and walked around one of the craters formed when Mt. Usu went up in 2000.

Then we hit the hot springs at Poromoi before heading back home.

After dinner, I decided to take them downtown for a few drinks on their last night in Muroran.

So we hoofed it on down there and went to DJ Jam Bar, a local hangout and the one place young people might show up on a Sunday night.

No one did, but we spent four hours there drinking and singing karaoke.

Then it was back home.

It had snowed that day, so my friend and his friend, in their drunken revelry, started throwing snow at each other.

I tried my best to get them to stop. After all, I have neighbors.

Anyway, we headed up to my room, and as I opened the door, I realized that my friend had picked up...


And he'd pulled the pin.

I looked at him and tried to get him to stop, but four hours of all-you-can-drink had turned his brain to Yorkshire pudding.

And in the next second, everything disappeared into a cloud of pink smoke.

The dirty S.O.B. set the damn thing off.

We all start choking up.

My eyes, my nose, my throat...everything hurt.

According to my friend, he just expected it to fire off a short burst of foam.

Well, whatever the expectation was, that's not what happened, is it?


I got them to bed, then ran to Ippuku-tei to ask the master there for some advice.

After heading home for three hours of fitful sleep, I woke up, called the vice-principal and explained the situation, and then got those two up to help me start cleaning.

First, the hallway, which was coated in the pink crap.

Then my room.

No school for me, just cleaning.




And that pink crap is still all over the place.

I'm calling in a cleaning company.


Anonymous Woodrow Wilson said...

Welcome back, Kotter. It's times like these when you need to remember the foot sweep technique you learned from Sundblad Sensei.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006 1:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Woodrow Wilson said...

One more thing, DK. I saw this today: http://story.scout.com/a.z?s=86&p=2&c=590466

When he gets there in March, tell him I said hello. He won't have a clue who I am. Just a fan.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006 1:22:00 AM  

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